Mission Monthly – February 2003

“It was necessary for her to carry within herself such a strong spiritual fire, such a deep, undoubting faith with which the impossible became possible.”

On the life of Holy Xenia of St. Petersburg

I have spoken with people who say how intimidated they feel when hearing about the lives of the Saints. I understand their intimidation. I see within myself the distance between the example of faith and virtue most Saints model and my own lack thereof. I remember long ago one man telling me how he wondered if he was “even in the same Church as the Saints?” He was meditating on the life of St. Seraphim of Sarov and wondered how God could ever see two such different lives together in His Kingdom. It is intimidating to think of such things.

A very good question to ask is, “Why does the Church parade the heroic lives of the Saints before us day after day?” It certainly is not to beat us down or to discourage us by saying condescendingly, “Why can't you be more like ?”. Most of us know this already, but it is good to be reminded. The lives of the Saints are often so heroic, some may actually question the point of trying, believing they will never measure up anyway. I've seen this even between friends. I recall one struggling woman who had great admiration for a friend whose life was settled in virtue and blessedness, yet could not see herself ever being able to make the same choices which allowed the Lord's life to be settled. My heart ached for this situation and led to a silent question, “What do you mean you can't ever see yourself making those same choices?” This is a question each of us should be asking ourselves every day. Do I see myself making the same choices that the Saints made which led to their holiness? Can I ever hope to make those choices? I can certainly see myself making other choices—choices which nurture my life in the world; material choices; pleasure choices.

“There are very many things in the world that men misuse. Many wear thick gold chains on their watches not for the watch's sake but for others to see what they have. Many keep sleek [automobiles], not because they need to drive themselves but in order to make the neighbors blink and to spite their enemies. Miserable a hundredfold are they whose worth is assessed only in terms of irrational [steel] and dead wheels! Many clothe themselves unbecomingly, not in order to cover their nakedness and protect their bodies from cold and dust, but to enhance their good looks. O unenviable beauty, that [soft cloth and] animals' fur can so increase! Many litter their houses with [valuables] and other unnecessary knick-knacks in order to have something to guard from robbers up till their deaths. O my poor brothers, why do you not realize that you are guarding the greatest thief from thieves, for he has completely seized on and emptied your souls? If you were to guard your soul as carefully as you guard your [possessions], your soul would outlive your [possessions]; but in this way they will outlive your soul. What shall we say about eating and drinking, that God gave to man to nourish the body but that men use to ruin both soul and body? What shall we say of the tongue, that was given to men for the glorifying of God and for the instruction and comfort one of another, but that men use to blaspheme against God, for self-congratulation, slander, malice and the poisoning of souls? What shall we say of the understanding that is given to men in order to clear the path to divine truth, and that men make use of as a helper and day-laborer in every sin and vice? And further, what shall we say of the heart of man, that is given to men to be an organ of love, an organ for the beholding of God and the heavenly world, and that men have turned into a belly of all impurity: vice, concupiscence, pride and hatred?” (St. Nikolai Velimirovic commenting on Luke 18:35-43).

In reading these words of the holy bishop, Nikolai, it almost seems hopeless. HOWEVER, what we must remember is that Saints like Holy Xenia are people just like you and me. They were faced with the same impossiblechoices that each of us face, the choices which challenge us to choose God over every sinful impulse. We cannot elevate the Saints to some super human status which robs God of His grace or the Saints of their freedom. The scripture tells us that, “with God nothing is impossible.” St. Xenia became who she was because she made choices to be with God and to do the impossible. Can I ever hope to make these choices? Impossibly, I hope the answer is “Yes!”