Mission Monthly Newsletter March 2002

...Meditate on These Things. Phillipians 4.8

"Never despair of God’s mercy, no matter by what sins you may have been bound through the tempting of the Devil, but pray with your whole heart, with the hope of forgiveness; knock at the door of God’s mercy, and it shall be opened unto you. Do not despair, then, whatever sins you have committed; only repent and confess them with a contrite and humble spirit."

            St. John of Kronstadt   

     Forgiveness is an elusive gift.  It is given to us but do we accept it?  It is preached to us but do we hear it?  It is taught to us but do we understand it?  It surrounds us but do we feel it?  It inspires us but are we convicted by it?  It is often asked for but do we seek it?  We know exactly where to find it but is it what we want?  We give it away but do we really let go?

     These are important questions to ask as we once again approach the beginning of the Lenten journey.  The answers that we give probably should be discussed in Holy Confession. They give an indication of how prepared one is to, “Come receive the Light from the unwaning Light” in the darkness and anticipation which marks the beginning of Holy Pascha.

     One would like to think that having been forgiven and always being forgiven would arouse in us a certain vigilance against sin.  We know, sadly, that this is not always the case.  Even worse is when we not only neglect a vigilant virtue but often prefer our perilous passions.  Even worse is when we are not only forgetful of God’s forgiveness but often choose to disregard it.

     Questions that I have been fielding over the last several months draw out these alarming thoughts.  The meaning of forgiveness is sometimes lost in the “ease” with which it is given, and even expected.  We expect God to forgive us when we confess our sins.  We expect our priests to administer absolution when we come to Holy Confession.  It is my view that it is not even a case of whether or not God forgives (He always does, which is the basis of our hope in His salvation).  Nor is it the question of whether or not the priest will grant absolution after hearing a confession (thankfully we do 99% of the time, although one wise bishop of the Russian Orthodox Church encouraged priests to rediscover the judicious use of penances).  The question is, “How do I respond to the divine and holy gift of ultimate forgiveness?”  Two of our Church’s greatest Saints, Mary of Egypt and Moses the Ethiopian, lead the way in showing us what it means to be forgiven.  They both totally redirected their lives (repented or metonia) in the greatest of commitment to Christ.  Unfortunately we are more often like the Pharisee who said, “I thank You Lord that I am not like other men.”  St. Mary was a prostitute and St. Moses a murderer, and thankfully I am not like either of them.  Or am I?  I am reminded of when the Pharisees condemned Jesus for forgiving the “sinful” woman after she anointed His feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair.  Jesus responded and said, “Her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little” (Luke 7:36-50).

     Do we really know how much we’ve been forgiven?  Isn’t it time that we begin to find out?  Isn’t it time that we take a deeper look at the meaning of the pre-Communion prayer which says, “Christ... Who didst come into the world to save sinners of who I am chief.”  I need to grow more deeply in the understanding of what it means to be the “chief” of sinners.  Only then will I learn, like the sinful woman, what it really means to love.  We cannot take for granted that God forgives absolutely.  We cannot take for granted that priests absolve compassionately.  If we ever hope to not be eluded by the precious and holy gift of God’s forgiveness then it is up to us to respond completely.