“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Proverbs 22:6

Prior to my trip to the 1998 Midwest Parish Life Conference I had been working on another meditation for this month’s Newsletter, but being so moved by the talks and sermons given by Metropolitan PHILIP, the priests, as well as the teenagers competing in the Oratorical Festival on the above theme, I feel it important to share some of the thoughts conveyed on this critical issue facing our Church.

One of the most hopeful and common threads woven through all the talks was that both the clergy and the teenagers openly admitted that the raising of children in our modern, post-Christian era has taken on difficulties uniquely unparalleled in human history. The ideologies of materialism, civil rights and personal freedom combined with the attitudes which drive the forces of public education, media, politics and the job and market place have sought to and have (in many cases) successfully undermined the family, parental authority, morality, ethics and, most tragically, faith in God.

The Metropolitan strongly urged parents not to be afraid to discipline their children when necessary, though not with the heavy hand of authority but rather the confident consistency of God’s Word through clear boundaries and consequences. This theme was not only echoed by the priests in their sermons but also seemingly longed for by the very teenagers to whom this discipline would be directed (a point which surprised even me!). In an era when children are being taught at younger and younger ages to be self-important, self-reliant and self-determined, to hear them not only admonish their own generation for not being faithful to Christ but to insist that their parents truly guide them towards responsible behavior and decision making and not be afraid to discipline when bad choices are made, was truly refreshing and hopeful!

Joe Paterno, the nationally respected head coach of the Penn State University football team, in a conversation with one of our priests, suggested that the role of the priest and that of coach are not so different. He stated that his players love the game so much that they train 3 to 4 hours a day… year round. It is not, and cannot be, just a Saturday afternoon commitment. His job is to guide their training so that each member of the team is ideally equipped and ready to play. Sadly, this priest had to respond that only a handful of his people came to him seeking guidance for daily spiritual work. We must ask ourselves, “How much do I love God? How much time do I give on a daily basis to train myself spiritually?” And for parents, “Am I truly seeking love and zeal for God in myself AND in my children?”

In his writings on family, St. Theophan the Recluse states (paraphrase), “If you want to raise truly Christian children (not in name only) then parents need to be truly Christian themselves.” It sounds simple, doesn’t it? As we know, however, living the Orthodox Christian life is not a simple effort. It can be when we are able, by God’s grace, to make it our primary and unyielding focus in life, but generally we ALL fight against this involuntarily and sometimes voluntarily. Any parent will tell you of the perceptiveness of children. Our children know when we are and are not sincere. If one were to look at Life in Christ as in steps towards salvation, the step of prayer would certainly have to be among the first (if not the first!). The questions, “When do we begin praying for our children and how do we teach them to pray?” compel us to conclude that preparing ourselves at the earliest possible moment is the only answer. The earlier and more established one is in his life of prayer and faith in Jesus Christ, the stronger EXAMPLE he will be to his children! If you are single and desire marriage, begin today praying that God will prepare you and your eventual spouse (even if unknown) for true Christian life and marriage. If you are married and are still awaiting children, begin today praying that God will give you true desire and courage to build your own life on the Rock of faith that you might build your children’s lives on the same. If you already have children and haven’t already begun, start today offering to God your very life and the lives of your children.

It is rare to see a modern parent not frustrated with child rearing and for some reason the causes seem to allude us. I am convinced that the combination of career goals, the social appearances of “success” and our blind trust in public education has all but exhausted our society’s moral defenses and our ability to be free of the chains of materialism and reason. Is there any rationale that our children should be any different than we are? This is in no way meant to criticize. I myself am subject to the same temptations of selfishness and convenience. As “Baby-boomers”, “the Me-generation” and “Generation Xers”, we all have been deceived by a subtle, though deep, deception that has greatly inhibited our ability to discern and yearn for true faith, love, discipline and prayer.

Ours is a great and rich heritage received in and through the Church! The questions we must ask ourselves are, “What type of legacy will we leave behind? Have we as adults entered into the unseen warfare with the fallen world or have we cooperated with it? Do we challenge our children with faith and moral conviction or do we teach them that possessions and goals are more important than our consciences and souls?” Make no mistake, we will be judged for our legacy! Only thank God for repentance, for hope, for suffering, for victory and for our Life in Christ into which we can trust our lives and the lives of our children.

“Today religion, or at any rate doctrine, is not with the majority of people a dominant issue and does not arouse major passions… Modern historians are, I think, retrojecting into the past {Church history} the sentiments of the present age when they argue that mere religious and doctrinal discussion cannot have generated such violent and enduring animosity as that evinced by the Donatists, Arians, or Monophysites, and that the real moving force behind these movements must have been national or class feeling… I would maintain that when the sectarians {the Orthodox} declared, as they did on our evidence declare: ‘We hold the true faith and are the true Church; our opponents are heretics, and never will we accept their doctrine or communicate with them, or yield to the impious government which supports them,’ they meant what they said.”

Fr. John Meyendorff quoting A.H.M. Jones in The Byzantine Legacy in the Orthodox Church

One of the most dominant and notable absences from the makeup of modern culture has to be a loss of the sense of history. I speak for myself in considering how difficult it is to look backwards when I am so busy looking forward, and I suspect that I speak for many others as well. In a society based primarily on the external achievement of individuals is it any wonder why there is little or no emphasis placed upon the need for understanding the past as much more than novelty, reminiscence or intellectual knowledge in giving foundation to the decisions of today or the plans for tomorrow? This, coupled with the resulting feelings of self-importance arising from the error and pride of a self-satisfied society, can and does suppress both the interest in history and the ability to interpret it without, as A.H.M. Jones stated above, “retrojecting into the past the sentiments of the present age.”

As Christians in our post-Christian era this tendency is of utmost danger. The age of relativism and self-determination has provided just the needed ammunition for our adversary to place us in the state of indifference and complacency. Our lack of understanding of the past and a cynical attitude towards Church authority in directing the lives of Her people has lured this society to the brink of spiritual blindness.

To those who allege that the Church of antiquity was too harsh and intolerant I would charge with discrimination as well as a significant measure of ignorance and sentimentality. We can neither relativize nor romanticize the past in studying those who stood up for True Belief. The needs of their society, just like those of ours, demanded discernment, definition and decision. Christianity from the beginning has boldly proclaimed, both within Herself and to the greater society, that: Yes, there are absolutes, standards and Truth!

I must confess here my own place within this critical analysis and the newness of revelation which the reading of Church history brings to my culturally biased mind. I find it very difficult to imagine in this age of “live and let live” the condemnation of anyone, either for heresy or immorality; the thought of such conflict and divisiveness is just as distasteful to me as to anyone. HOWEVER!, what am I to make of the objective facts of history, the theological controversies, the shedding of blood, moral definition and (yes!) political intrigue, and the involvement of ordinary people in the ebb and flow of the development of the Christian Church and Her affect upon society? Christians of antiquity were not afraid to “mix it up,” moreover they believed it to be their responsibility as Right Believing Christians to defend the Faith revealed by God Himself (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) through the “Ecclesia” (the Body of Christ). The Church was not only not afraid to condemn or depose when necessary, but the action of “Anathema” was to put the person out, like the unbeliever, to a state worse than non-acceptance called “excommunication.” What does this say to us as Orthodox Christians living in our age of pluralism and political correctness? We are faced with countless “religious” perspectives, many of which would frankly scandalize our Church Fathers. The great American tradition opposing the discussion of politics and religion would seem strange to the mind of the historic Church when it was said that one couldn’t even walk down the street without encountering a heady theological discussion. Today there is a need for the Orthodox Church to (re)discover its voice and, when necessary, speak the Truth with love.

I am so weary of seeing my Faith disrespected and ridiculed for Her conviction, but this is to be expected (since those who hate Christ will certainly hate us). Maybe Christianity at times has not made the best example of itself but that is no reason to back into a corner, fearing to move or speak. If our primary “reason for being” as Orthodox Christians is to rightly worship the True God in right belief, then our primary desire must also be for unity and peace, but not at the hand of compromise or surrender. It would be so nice if we could go about our business without the worry of conflict but Church history tells a much different story, one that isn’t always so neatly defined. There will always be a day of reckoning (or many days) when God will demand an account of our faith. Believing in Jesus Christ means sharing in His Cross. I pray for strength for all of us as we encounter the ever-present hostilities towards True Christian beliefs and standards. “Live and let live” just won’t cut it in Orthodoxy. Let us pray that God will give us the wisdom to face any challenge to our faith as Orthodoxy in America continues to emerge from its immigrant roots; and even more importantly, the courage to love as we share with those who only wish to provoke. Ours is a faith not of law and order but rather of love and order. Order because we cannot tolerate immorality and falsehood, and love because through our humble proclamation and defense we must desire, as our Father in Heaven, not the death of the sinner but rather that he should turn to Him and live!